who loves the sun? who cares that it makes plants grow? who cares what it does since you broke my heart?

ahh, velvet underground. I really am beginning to like them, considering I only have a few songs by them, i love them all. funkfunk

I have begun to wear a copper bracelet as of yesterday, since i have the sneaking suspicion that i might have carpal tunnel syndrome. I have most symptoms, blablabla...
one month and the cyst is removed, less than two months and West Side Story is performed. eek!
and its SNOWING! DAMNIT! who the hell let the snow come back? no one! damn you weather! stupid snow...

Moments ago I was looking over some previous blogs from far away in the past (few months only? wow, not too long). not very fun. no, I'm not the most interesting person, and If I ever made an autobiography, there would be two versions: the real one and the fake one that I would Bullshit my way through. I've decided that someday I will make up a fake life and call it the real thing. take that! let the fuckers figure that one out!
hehe, who said that?

three things are on the to-get list, and one will not be gotten. One is the guitar. Didn't get it yesterday, but I did pick it out. now I need more money. another is a new bike, hurrah! though I think mom might get it FOR me....mooch, yes, I know.
the other is a laptop to have in my room so I can start to record stuff. considering the fact that I want to get into Music in University, i think I should start learning to record and stuff like that. hello! that would make sense! but, this computer won't help much, since its old, slow as hell, and out of date when it comes to Cubase requirements.
in other words, those who love me and have money, let me mooch off you! lol. nono...dont listen to emily, shes tired and put out.

so i've come to realize that, as much as I hate it and try not to admit to it, I am an emotional person who isn't nearly as strong as she thought she was. oh well. ill live. i have my entire life to live with that. but even so, even in this puny little ordeal of mine, i've found some irony in it. turns out I have a lot in common with someone. buahahaha! He's messed up about someone who hes pined over for....lets call it 3 years? and I am doing the same thing...with him! wow, so ironic how the tables have connected and switched around!
also turns out hes moving away in the summer. well, what will happen then? nothing, duh. what could possibly happen? hopefully he'll get a life, and who knows? maybe I will too, finally.

Speaking of which, last night, about half an hour before i went to work, a miss Samm called me up, wanting to get together to get high. wow! long time no....chat. well, she had no phone, so there you go. but, sadly, i had to work! awww, oh well!

stupid daylight savings time, stealing my life away from me one hour at a time! strange dreams last night, none of which I can really remember, but they were certainly odd.

Emma told me something about her religions belief in dreams, and it really appealed to me. She said it was a way for the spirit to travel through space and time. I would like to believe that too, since it would explain dejavu's so much, and I know that dejavus happen, because i have them ALL the time. it would also be a comforting thought, in a way. yes, a lot of my dreams are rather...well, disfigured, lets say that, but some are horribly realistic, like the ones I described a few blogs back (maybe one blog??? no, two i think), and even if they are, I would like to think that they are a possibility in the real world. comforting, once again.
then again, so is thinking there is a god controlling your life and helping you along a safe path. what a load of crap that is...

to me.

still, i liked the idea.

whats with me and long blogs? that should be enough, i guess.
I was in love once, then I was pining. Then I was lost, obsessed and controlled. Now I'm fresh and alive again, and what a feeling it is to be able to look up and see the stars again.