Remember those nights where you were just so at ease, and everything that went by went by with great ease? remember when you just sat and listened, and didn't care enough to bother making a sound, for fear of destroying what you were hearing?
Remember standing in a room, waiting for something, and not knowing what you were waiting for, just waiting?
Remember being at work, and staring out the window in the dead of the night, just staring... at nothing... and everything was blurring your mind into a pulp of non-sense?
Remember being with friends, and just looking around and realizing how odd it is that you ended up with them?
Remember just.. being there? being in the moment, where it's happening, where everything was hilarious and beautiful and outrageous and just plain old awesome?
Remember all that? remember being happy?
Remember being happy in the midst of your depression?

it doesn't make sense, but you remember, right? you remember. Then it happened, right? it happened, because you remember, and that makes everything real, right?

I dont know.

I remember things. I remember things that happened, and things that didn't happen, but went through my head, nevertheless. I remember all these "fantasies" that were so close to being real, I almost deceived myself into thinking that it really DID happen...

did any of it happen, though? could it happen?



I'm nuts. I hear that every day of my life. I'm nuts. I am crazy.
I like it.

but it's just not enough, is it?