And then there was the second depression of the year...
I'm taking this time before going to work to blog. it has been a few days since the last post, and I'm afraid this won't be a happy one. oops!
Last night was the second coffee house of the school year, and was worse than the first one. the set was BAD, mostly on my part for forgetting lyrics and my own friggen song.
along with that, I had a panic attack before the coffee house began, not long after someone arrived. I was caught in a position, and started to get reaaally wound up from it, and not wound up in a happy way.
it was a rough night, an extreme trial, but there were some good parts to it. I won't put details in, since i'm mostly unaware of who actually reads this.i had to leave the amp there over night, and it would have been fine if it ended there, but...
this morning, Mr.G comes up to me and says I should be ashamed of myself for planting my amp on stage and leaving.
I HAD NO CHOICE IN WHEN I LEFT. I had to get a ride home from my brother, who had NO room in the car for an amp, let alone Josh who also needed the ride home. what was I supposed to do? Gord wouldn't come to pick it up, not until tonight will he do that.
then there was trying to find someone who knew where my amp WAS. one part of it was in the Guidance office, and other in the drama storage room. a very aggravating day, mostly put so by the events of last night and Mr.g's comment to me. sorry someone else had to clean it up, but I gave fair warning to the "not the music council", and sorry if they failed to pass on the message like I ASKED.
very sour mood.
so, depression? why?
before last night, I thought i had come a long way in consideration to feelings about someone at the start of the year. I had been sorting through things and was almost done when a tornado hit and blew everything into hell. So now I have started over, back to the beginning. again.
its fucking frustrating.
and there wasn't only one contributor to this problem, there were two. I was bouncing back and forth and my inners were being ripped in two. I could not focus on anything and i felt completely lost. so I was basically screwed up in the head again.
lovely!
well, more on this later. must go get ready for a horrible night of work. soo tired. i just want to fall into my bed and sleep.
maybe cry a bit, or something
I'm taking this time before going to work to blog. it has been a few days since the last post, and I'm afraid this won't be a happy one. oops!
Last night was the second coffee house of the school year, and was worse than the first one. the set was BAD, mostly on my part for forgetting lyrics and my own friggen song.
along with that, I had a panic attack before the coffee house began, not long after someone arrived. I was caught in a position, and started to get reaaally wound up from it, and not wound up in a happy way.
it was a rough night, an extreme trial, but there were some good parts to it. I won't put details in, since i'm mostly unaware of who actually reads this.i had to leave the amp there over night, and it would have been fine if it ended there, but...
this morning, Mr.G comes up to me and says I should be ashamed of myself for planting my amp on stage and leaving.
I HAD NO CHOICE IN WHEN I LEFT. I had to get a ride home from my brother, who had NO room in the car for an amp, let alone Josh who also needed the ride home. what was I supposed to do? Gord wouldn't come to pick it up, not until tonight will he do that.
then there was trying to find someone who knew where my amp WAS. one part of it was in the Guidance office, and other in the drama storage room. a very aggravating day, mostly put so by the events of last night and Mr.g's comment to me. sorry someone else had to clean it up, but I gave fair warning to the "not the music council", and sorry if they failed to pass on the message like I ASKED.
very sour mood.
so, depression? why?
before last night, I thought i had come a long way in consideration to feelings about someone at the start of the year. I had been sorting through things and was almost done when a tornado hit and blew everything into hell. So now I have started over, back to the beginning. again.
its fucking frustrating.
and there wasn't only one contributor to this problem, there were two. I was bouncing back and forth and my inners were being ripped in two. I could not focus on anything and i felt completely lost. so I was basically screwed up in the head again.
lovely!
well, more on this later. must go get ready for a horrible night of work. soo tired. i just want to fall into my bed and sleep.
maybe cry a bit, or something
prematurely released by Norah at 4:30 PM
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