So, i am back....

the baby squirrel died, sadly. but that was expected, after falling and staying outside over night. meh. there are plenty of squirrels in the world.
then again, there are also plenty of humans in the world....

Major ass projects coming up. I'm actually reading, or trying to, and TRYING DESPERATELY to get working on APS shit. god, i need to do this stuff. i need to burn a cd for APS too, for monday, and bring a piece of toast and peanut butter.
i wish i could talk to my group, so we had an idea of what we were doing, etc, but NOPE. nothing.
god. i'm doing all the work for this thing. jesus. good thing i never actually SAY anything important.

sigh.

very tired. wait, no im not. IM A LIAR

today was the busiest night shift i've ever had. it was like the one saturday I worked the day shift, only I wasn't tired and sloppy-like. i was ON THE BALL....go me.

so frigging HOT thought. it felt like summer in that damn store, hot and sweaty. yikes. can't wait till summer! Man, i want to go get a bathing suit....not that i'm going to go swimming often with friends, since they will all be gone. I wish I could thought...or at least go to the cottage and such. that would be so nice. Not my cottage, i have no cottage, but my rich aunt and uncles, who dont like me too much. hehehe, buahahahh.
BUT YES, i want to go shopping, get clothing that shows some leg. wow, thats wierd...I WANT short. uhoh, am i drunk or something?

no

anyway, yesyes....indeed. d/l the darkness, because I dont want to spend much more money than i have this month.

HEY! Cygnus book 2 just came on! I haven't listened to this song in ages. i love it...and....lyrics. WOOT. ahh, geddy lee. i love this song...memories come back to me.

anyway, not much to say other than im rambling, but i want to. im happy right now. and to be honest, i can't help but feel like that hole i was stuck in, back to the coffee house, is going away. i'm climbing out of my hole the way i came in.
hey, its a good thing. im dealing with things now. hurrah for me.
oh yes,
Boys?
Are off limits from now on.
Yes, I am an artist, a Bohemian, but I've had enough taste of love (If you must, put quotations around that word, but I would say go without. I'm delusional, yes, but I know things...) for one highschool student. enough of this stuff.
now? I'm dealing with myself. I'm just starting to accept myself for who I am, and I'm starting to finalize some ideas of my own. for one, I LIKE DRUGS. sorry, but I do, It took my mind off of things, and since then I've been in better health (Not physical, of course, mental) than i was before. so there. Sorry, but thats my medicine for now. its a good distraction.

but yes, bohemian or not, no love until I am FULLY through the whole Identity Crisis that we teenagers go through. crush, fuck 'em! They're dumb and pointless and dont do any good. right emma? Right. thats all he was, a crush, and dumb, mechanical, heartless, bastard crush.
GOOD FOR ME

I'm happy

anyway...enough stupidity for one night.
Yeah, I whine and talk about the same stuff. but for too long thats been my main focus of thought, and look where it got me. NO where.

anyway, goodnight stirling and beyond!