You know, Emily, Some day, Some day soon, you're going to have no time left. The last chance will come and go, and it will be too late. Something and Someone else will come along, and finish the job you couldn't start. The fact is, the world isn't going to stand around and wait for you to get on your feet. it's not going to pity you, it won't bend to your own beliefs, it won't help you along with some series of miracles. it won't let you be happy on a whim and a wish. you have to do it. you have to stand up and get it over with, or get it started. one of the two.

either way, you're running out of time quicker than you think. if you don't try something, if you don't think about it, it's still going to be there. but it's going to end. and you will be left with nothing but a broken heart.

so get the fuck up. make a call. make a conversation. make a confession thats likely already a given. state intentions, your feelings. end it. hang up. its so simple, and you're making it so complicated. what have you got to lose? You don't even have anything yet.

its too easy to say that you have a communication problem. but you do, you don't talk. when you do, you're awkward, the wrong things come out. you are not a comfortable person. but if you're going to do anything, you can't just do it. you have to learn something first, that being to like who you are.
as of right now, you hate looking at yourself. you hate pictures of you, you hate hearing your own voice, you hate everything about yourself, except for the people you know. get over all that... and then, you can do the rest.

so fuckin do it.

so easy, yet so impossible. I am emotionally and communicatively handicapped. And no, I wasn't born that way. but It ended that way.