Deadspell

two days ago, I got out the Sao Paulo picture, and I added a few things to it. It's the big one I started over a year ago in art class, and never finished, because
A) I lost inspiration and drive. it was a terrible time.
B) It was HUGE
C) It was complicated.

For the longest time, it sat in my back hallway. until tuesday. I dragged it out, struggled to get it onto the easle... and I painted. Not a lot. only for forty minutes. a painful forty minutes, trying to put reference points on the canvas, so that the next try would be easier. it was hell. It's hell.

Today, I spotted an older project of mine behind my closet door. I abandoned the project several months ago. Today, I painted over it. Contemporary Art. My first one. My first completed painting in over a year.

It seems the hiatus might be drawing to its demise at last.

why did all this happen?

It might have something to do with setting a goal: To be able to bring these paintings to Toronto, on the condition that I am proud of them. meaning: They are complete paintings. Nothing I'm afraid to look at.
I wanted to finish Sao Paulo, so I could put it on my wall, to cover it, Maybe even for a door.
and this painting I did today? who knows. centre-piece in a future living room? Who knows.
But I love it.
I haven't felt this good in a long time. It's temporary, I know... but it feels so good to create something, and love it.
It's my first contemporary piece. It's.. nothing. just paint. everywhere. But, in there, are two pieces of paper, painted over. I don't know why i did it (It was a texture-esque thing). One had a poem on it, to *someone*, and the other was just blank...
I don't remember what the poem was. I never thought to write it down. but now it will always be a mystery. whenever I look at this painting, I'll remember that poem. I'll fancy I remember a line or two...

so thats it. the artist has picked up her brush again.
I hope this lasts.