funny how things go

I think I'm getting my hopes up too high. again.
I'm addicted to it.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go shopping with my mom. I KNOW it's not going to be good. it never really is.

Saturday, I'm hoping to go to Angus and Aric and Scott's to get hammered. just to party with a few good friends.

but I'm getting the feeling that I'm the only one who really wants to.

I hate that feeling. so much.

*ugh*

Why does life hurt right now?

I keep remembering certain times in life, memories. It's interesting how we only remember shots of memories. They aren't like movies just playing out in front of you. They're just a bunch of pictures, snapshots, sayings written on the back of them.

I wish I could fly back to these moments, watch it play out again.... maybe say something a little smarter, maybe notice that my hair isn't all that great, see something in my teeth.

God, I wish I could have dont something better.

I wish I was a better person. I wish I was just good enough for him.