it's my last night in my home town.
I'm not too sure what to say about it...
we all expect it: the bitter-sweet feeling of leaving your home to go out on your own. Afraid, excited.
I still don't think I'm moving tomorrow. it hasn't quite hit me. waves come, but no flood.. yet.
I don't understand how people can do this their entire lives: Build a home for yourself, surround yourself with beautiful, amazing people. the kind you are so thankful to have met, because you know there aren't any others like them. and then you leave them, to go out and start over again.
knowing you'll never have the same thing.

and change is good.
it's beautiful...
when you need it.
And, yes, I need it. I truly do need the change (no more working at the pro, no more stirling, time for taste), but I'm afraid the taste will blind me. I'm afraid this sudden change in water will drown me.
I'm afraid I've gotten in over my head...
I'm risking so much (yet nothing), I've put my entire life on a line I know nothing about (it could be made of spiders web... though, some of those are strong).
I could be all alone... and I will be. No one will be in that apartment, when all is said and done. Angus will go to his birthday party for his buddy, Mom and Dad will go home...
and I will be alone, in a city I know nothing about, inside of an area I've only seen a few times.

This time tomorrow, I will be all alone, with nothing but the cold, disheartening airwaves to save me.
and they're invisible...

(I wish someone would come with me)

I'm so afraid...