Zoey growy

Is this how people Grow Up? to get their hopes up for something that would be, not quite ideal, but good enough to help themselves... and then have it stolen.

I put all my eggs in this basket, and its just been thrown off a fucking building.
I had so much hope in this. I was going to move, I was going to find direction, subject for writing. I was going to be inspired, happier, i was going to follow him to the GTA, I was going to find myself....

and I can't anymore.

I'm trapped....
and no one believes me. No one will help me. no one is here to save me from myself....

I'm so hopeless, I can't feel anything. I can't imagine feeling anything.
I am...

am I? Am I even alive anymore?

I wish I was back in my childhood, before I became tainted. the experience of tainting is terrible. the event... the occurance...
the aftermath...

all the people I love are gone. and I tried to follow them... and they're gone. they're far away.

someone hold me... please?