explicit?
Well I'm not too sure what to think about that.
Dan came over tonight. to make up for last night.
Things didn't go that well. well, for me. probably not for him either.
We rushed. I would rather go slow in those kinds of matters, but thats just me.
It's been a while since I last had sex, I will admit that, and thus parts of me were.... out of shape, lets just say.
I dunno. I'm not too sur ehow to sum up what exactly happened, since not a lot did happen. it lasted all of five minutes (yeah, crappy. guh.), and we ended up having a better conversation afterwards.
didn't help my self esteem that much, but I felt a little more at ease talking to him at least. which, personally, is more important to me. but i'm a girl, duh.
he left me his number, kind of nice, makes me want to do something tomorrow night. maybe I will, convince cal to get some alcohol and get drunk.
blegh. what a night. didn't go as expected, I barely have any memory of it to hold onto as "the last time i had sex..."
you know those times.
now I'm feeling sleepy (yawn) and watching pretty woman. not a good movie to watch in my state of mind, just another reminder of how no one will ever come save me.
*sigh*
tuesday was better than that! man! at least it lasted longer, even if it was just fingering.
blegh.
I dunno. I don't normally do this sort of thing. At least now I can say I've done almost everything while living here. I lived here. I can say that now. I just don't do that often, let a man in (not literally, jesus).
Mostly because, sometimes you find yourself with a person and you find that you have a good connection. And I don't like that happening often to me, getting casually involved (in the sense of one night stands) means that no matter what kind of connection i might have with this guy, I have to let it go. and its harder for me to do that, since, while he might go along and find another connection easily (probably because hes better looking, and thus more receptive to those things), Those kinds of things don't come along that often for me. I have a hard time finding someone I get along with, who thinks like I do, about the same things and such. whose life is based on similar passions as mine.
so needless to say, tonight was different for me, of course.
and it leaves me feeling empty inside.
Dan came over tonight. to make up for last night.
Things didn't go that well. well, for me. probably not for him either.
We rushed. I would rather go slow in those kinds of matters, but thats just me.
It's been a while since I last had sex, I will admit that, and thus parts of me were.... out of shape, lets just say.
I dunno. I'm not too sur ehow to sum up what exactly happened, since not a lot did happen. it lasted all of five minutes (yeah, crappy. guh.), and we ended up having a better conversation afterwards.
didn't help my self esteem that much, but I felt a little more at ease talking to him at least. which, personally, is more important to me. but i'm a girl, duh.
he left me his number, kind of nice, makes me want to do something tomorrow night. maybe I will, convince cal to get some alcohol and get drunk.
blegh. what a night. didn't go as expected, I barely have any memory of it to hold onto as "the last time i had sex..."
you know those times.
now I'm feeling sleepy (yawn) and watching pretty woman. not a good movie to watch in my state of mind, just another reminder of how no one will ever come save me.
*sigh*
tuesday was better than that! man! at least it lasted longer, even if it was just fingering.
blegh.
I dunno. I don't normally do this sort of thing. At least now I can say I've done almost everything while living here. I lived here. I can say that now. I just don't do that often, let a man in (not literally, jesus).
Mostly because, sometimes you find yourself with a person and you find that you have a good connection. And I don't like that happening often to me, getting casually involved (in the sense of one night stands) means that no matter what kind of connection i might have with this guy, I have to let it go. and its harder for me to do that, since, while he might go along and find another connection easily (probably because hes better looking, and thus more receptive to those things), Those kinds of things don't come along that often for me. I have a hard time finding someone I get along with, who thinks like I do, about the same things and such. whose life is based on similar passions as mine.
so needless to say, tonight was different for me, of course.
and it leaves me feeling empty inside.
prematurely released by Norah at 7:35 PM
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