Home is where the Heart is

Sometimes it's better that good things never happen. Sometimes its better to never go to someones house, and have a good time. because then, when you spend the rest of the week alone at home with no one around, either watching movies or playing games on the computer, you feel like shit. because all you get to think about the rest of the week is how great that one part of a day was, and how while other people get to do that again, you don't. because you're stranded. but, if you never went to that house, if you never had a good time, you wouldn't feel quite that shitty.

My point?

So far, summer sucks. like always. yes, good moments, and they rock. the rest of the time though, is made shitty. yeah. thats how it is. I'm spending my summer holiday in the house, watching movies, and sitting at this fucking computer. I'll do dishes. three of those days, I'll spend knowing that I have to go to work that night, which will be miserable, as always. everyone's coming in, getting booze or something for a party that night, or something...

I don't know.

I just hate not being able to do anything. I get the car once a week. once a week, I get to drive wherever. one day. oh, the skill involved to be sure it's the right day. friggen... I hate that most of my friends are in belleville, or trenton, or camping, or something. I feel like such a loser right now. I'm downloading CSI. CSI! I love CSI, and I'm downloading episodes because they make me feel good. I feel happy when I watch CSI. look at that. I'm a junkie. I'm addicted to a TV show that's on almost every day of the week. I am a sad waste of life. right now.

thank god I get to move in a couple months. fuck...

PS:
still no call from Joel. better call tonight, damnit. I would call, but I'm pretty sure I'll just get his sister again, saying he's not in right now. oivay. Oi Vay.

Home is where the heart is. my ass. There's no heart here. Guess there's no fuckin home either, huh? oh, what a lonely person I am right now. I hate being like this. I hate it. it makes me tired. It gives me a headache. it makes me sick to my stomach.

oh life. how you hate us all. ope. i mean me. me. how you hate me. i already said that. BAH