Why you cry

Because you're alone in a world too big for you.
Because no one understands you.
Because all you want is to be taken care of, and everyone is too busy.
Because you can't defend yourself.
Because you're delicate.
Because you're tired.
Because you're hot.
Because you're cold.
Because you're dependant.
Because you don't know whats happening.
Because you're hungry, and there's no food.
Because a bee stung you, and you couldn't stop it.
Because no one can soothe you.
Because the world just isn't fair, and doesn't care.
Because you're four months old,
and this horrid trip is all you know.


There is nothing more heart-breaking than seeing a baby get stung by a bee. A baby that can't do anything about it, that didn't provoke it, was stung by a fucking wasp. and there is nothing more heart-breaking than that baby sobbing, because this is a pain shes never felt before, and shes scared and doesn't know whats happening. And on top of that, you can't do anything to get revenge. It's not like a person hit the baby. you can't just hit a bee back for stinging an infant and putting her in a world of pain and terror. you can't do anything. and It's so painful to watch. especially at a corn roast where everyone is stuffing their face, and probably doesn't have enough empathy to understand the poor thing sobbing in her mother's arms, sobbing for someone to turn off the stinging pain on her head.
It hurt. it was so sad. maybe I'm a sap, now that there's a baby in my life, even if it isn't mine.
Oh, ava. its just not a fair world. I'm sorry you learned that at such an early age, before you can even grow a memory or conscience. I'm so sorry about this place.

I'm tired. oh so tired. I don't want to sleep though... that means I have to wake up. yet again. to another week, just like the last one....

ugh. I need to think of something to do with myself.