Doo Wop
I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in things that are just Meant to be. I'm the kind of person who believes that she alone can control her life. I stick to that.
But for some reason, I still rely on that other factor, the one most people call God, or Destiny. I don't believe in those... So why do I wait? If I'm waiting, I must be waiting for something, right? Otherwise, why would I wait? No one waits when there's nothing to wait for...
unless they're screwy.
like me.
answer.
Ok, but it's not good enough for me.
I'm putting everything on Toronto. I'm waiting for Toronto.
I'm waiting for a response to a question I'm not asking.
I'm waiting for... people.
now, that's different. I'm not waiting for a force that cannot be reconciled with, or a GOD. I'm waiting for people...
I'm waiting for me to figure shit out.
yeah.
that works.
I've been having the same dream every night. Not exactly the same. But the mood doesn't change, doesn't miss a step in this torturous dance. Every night, the circumstances switch up a bit, and every morning, when I wake up, I feel the same thing and think the same word:
Shit.
I know what could be. I know what that alternate universe looks like. I know what I could REALLY be, who I could really be, where I could be, What I could be doing. who I could be with. I know what COULD be. But I do not strive towards it. not like most people do at least.
of course I work towards those dreams.
just a little slower.
Just a litter... uhh... more stoned. I guess.
I'm 18. I have a life ahead of me, assuming I'm not shot by some asshole when I move, or hit by a car, or the sky falls on me. Assuming. Assumptions are a dangerous thing. Just about everyone I know has made them too. except one.
but everyone else, yes, Everyone, has assumed the wrong thing about me.
and I'm guilty of the same thing, I'm sure. We're human, we have to have SOMETHING to jump off.
but assuming I don't die unexpectedly... I've got a while to figure things out.
it just sucks that I might be left behind in the dust.
that would suck.
But for some reason, I still rely on that other factor, the one most people call God, or Destiny. I don't believe in those... So why do I wait? If I'm waiting, I must be waiting for something, right? Otherwise, why would I wait? No one waits when there's nothing to wait for...
unless they're screwy.
like me.
answer.
Ok, but it's not good enough for me.
I'm putting everything on Toronto. I'm waiting for Toronto.
I'm waiting for a response to a question I'm not asking.
I'm waiting for... people.
now, that's different. I'm not waiting for a force that cannot be reconciled with, or a GOD. I'm waiting for people...
I'm waiting for me to figure shit out.
yeah.
that works.
I've been having the same dream every night. Not exactly the same. But the mood doesn't change, doesn't miss a step in this torturous dance. Every night, the circumstances switch up a bit, and every morning, when I wake up, I feel the same thing and think the same word:
Shit.
I know what could be. I know what that alternate universe looks like. I know what I could REALLY be, who I could really be, where I could be, What I could be doing. who I could be with. I know what COULD be. But I do not strive towards it. not like most people do at least.
of course I work towards those dreams.
just a little slower.
Just a litter... uhh... more stoned. I guess.
I'm 18. I have a life ahead of me, assuming I'm not shot by some asshole when I move, or hit by a car, or the sky falls on me. Assuming. Assumptions are a dangerous thing. Just about everyone I know has made them too. except one.
but everyone else, yes, Everyone, has assumed the wrong thing about me.
and I'm guilty of the same thing, I'm sure. We're human, we have to have SOMETHING to jump off.
but assuming I don't die unexpectedly... I've got a while to figure things out.
it just sucks that I might be left behind in the dust.
that would suck.
prematurely released by Norah at 5:34 PM
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