what can I say about last night?
Most of the time, I'm convinced that my heart has turned into a hunk of black ice. I just don't feel things anymore. I can't get "into" things. I can't find myself overwhelmed by emotions. at least, not the emotions I see everyone else living with. Sometimes I think I've numbed myself. I probably have.
but last night, I forgot to turn off. I couldn't. I couldn't let her go through it alone. Before I knew it, tears were going down my cheeks in the car, and it wasn't even my ordeal, it wasn't my moment of being afraid, of doing something I'm terrified of doing, of knowing that I could potentially lose something beautiful. It wasn't my moment to feel such things as she did. but still, I shared something with her. I cried for her. we sat together in the car, talking, listening, knowing what was about to happen, and knowing how we would feel afterwards, in the many different ways we could feel.
For the first time in a long time, I managed to get on the same wave-length as someone else, without having to fight my way there. There was no fight, only the fight to cover up my wet eyes.
It was a strange night.
can you feel the tension?
there's something about people in this circle. people seem to think that once they've experienced something, they know everything about anything remotely related to that experience. I'm guilty of this. we all are, when we're asked to give advice, we have to force ourselves to think that we know how to help, because we know what to do. but a lot of people seem to forget that what they experienced could be completely different than what the other person is going through.
People forget to five others the benefit of the doubt, or in this case, differences and variety. Everyone has a whole story behind them. Unless you can hear the whole story, you can't give them sound advice and knowing that it will be the right advice, that you won't be leading them astray.
Just because you know someone fairly well, doesn't mean you've witnessed their entire life, doesn't mean you've felt everything they've felt in surround sound. it doesn't mean you know them.
it just means you would recognize them on tv, in the paper, on the radio, in the crowd.
I don't know.
my brain is still boggled from last night
and life.
life's a bitch.
moving on.
Jeff is done work after this week. Saturday (next) will be his last day. my last day working with him. it kind of sucks, because, as much of a dork as he is, and as strange as his taste in things is, I like working with him. i enjoy it a lot. I can relax a bit more with him. I can joke around with the customers a little more, I can be a little more of myself at work.
I'll miss it, I guess.
oi.
how things change.
some things never do.
mah
Most of the time, I'm convinced that my heart has turned into a hunk of black ice. I just don't feel things anymore. I can't get "into" things. I can't find myself overwhelmed by emotions. at least, not the emotions I see everyone else living with. Sometimes I think I've numbed myself. I probably have.
but last night, I forgot to turn off. I couldn't. I couldn't let her go through it alone. Before I knew it, tears were going down my cheeks in the car, and it wasn't even my ordeal, it wasn't my moment of being afraid, of doing something I'm terrified of doing, of knowing that I could potentially lose something beautiful. It wasn't my moment to feel such things as she did. but still, I shared something with her. I cried for her. we sat together in the car, talking, listening, knowing what was about to happen, and knowing how we would feel afterwards, in the many different ways we could feel.
For the first time in a long time, I managed to get on the same wave-length as someone else, without having to fight my way there. There was no fight, only the fight to cover up my wet eyes.
It was a strange night.
can you feel the tension?
there's something about people in this circle. people seem to think that once they've experienced something, they know everything about anything remotely related to that experience. I'm guilty of this. we all are, when we're asked to give advice, we have to force ourselves to think that we know how to help, because we know what to do. but a lot of people seem to forget that what they experienced could be completely different than what the other person is going through.
People forget to five others the benefit of the doubt, or in this case, differences and variety. Everyone has a whole story behind them. Unless you can hear the whole story, you can't give them sound advice and knowing that it will be the right advice, that you won't be leading them astray.
Just because you know someone fairly well, doesn't mean you've witnessed their entire life, doesn't mean you've felt everything they've felt in surround sound. it doesn't mean you know them.
it just means you would recognize them on tv, in the paper, on the radio, in the crowd.
I don't know.
my brain is still boggled from last night
and life.
life's a bitch.
moving on.
Jeff is done work after this week. Saturday (next) will be his last day. my last day working with him. it kind of sucks, because, as much of a dork as he is, and as strange as his taste in things is, I like working with him. i enjoy it a lot. I can relax a bit more with him. I can joke around with the customers a little more, I can be a little more of myself at work.
I'll miss it, I guess.
oi.
how things change.
some things never do.
mah
prematurely released by Norah at 1:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home