Wow

Last night was the best night I've had.

I never say any of this coming.

I've spent so long worrying about never being able to open up, to show who I REALLY am, to ensure that he knows that the person he usually see isn't really me.
but he knew! He knew I take so long to warm up, he knew it already, before I told him.

I never thought I could warm up that fast, and suddenly lose all those restraints, to suddenly be myself around the one person I want to be myself around!
I just wish i could remember every second of it a little clearer. I wish I could hear all the things we said, the things we agreed on.
I actually felt it, a connection. it was the first one. he knew it too. I saw it. I could see in his eyes that he saw something for the first time last night, and it was in me.

I hurts so much right now, knowing that last night is over, that the Litre and a half of Wine I consumed is out of my system, that the pot isn't dancing with me anymore. That He's not here anymore. That I can't keep talking like I did last night.

why did it happen last night?
what did it?

what was he thinking before he passed out last night?