Farewell star

And even after these great days,
after seeing a waning moon sitting on my hill,
golden in its being,
I'm left alone.
And after these fond memories
flow past my minds eye,
voices from the past laughing,
I'm left forgotten.
And when they move on with their lives,
Loving eachother without a worry or pause,
I'm left wondering,
when will it be me?
And it's awkward,
being the odd man out in the common grounds,
even when welcome with open arms,
I feel lost.

So I sit and wonder,
will I ever matter?
Will anyone spend their days wishing
I was there,
would they care?

I sit and think
of the people I loved in my years,
and how I'm now just another stone
stepped on
to get to another stone.

And like a good rock,
I move not.
not to save myself from the next foot.
Not to roll away.

And like a convenient step,
I'm ever present and unavoidable.
and in the end
forgotten.
regretted.

So I sit tonight and wonder,
is anything really worthy?
When I see his face again,
Will I be able to smile?