My Foolish Heart

so last night was a good night. was a good night. I got drunk, to celebrate St.patty's day. Went to see the guys, to drink with them too..

and managed to screw up things.

I can and can't see how it's my fault. I understand where he is in it... but he put himself there. thh whole thing could have been avoided: He could have just hung around, like he always does. How am I supposed to talk to someone who Isn't There?

I don't know. I was drunk, yes, but not that fucking drunk. i dont GET that drunk on purpose. I don't.
So I got home last night, heard this, and ended up in a whole new mess. and now I'm listening to My Foolish Heart, and wondering about it all. It was such a good night. It would have been for him if he hadn't given up like that. don't take that wrong.

I don't know. I'm ever so slightly hung over. barely hung over. just thirsty.

damnit. It was such a good night. Why am I not allowed to enjoy this once in a while? Why can't I be a little selfish once in a while? Do I not get to be like that? am I not entitled to a little time to just Do what I want to DO? Am I not allowed to be me when I'm able to?

mer.

what am I supposed to say to all that?
"Well, I'm sorry that we're not on that similar wave-lengths afterall"?
or just plain Sorry?
How do you explain being sucked in.

maybe I just shouldn't go there anymore...

fuck. yeah. right. like I could do that.

oh such accusations. how I must deal... again.

another night of work.