this whole, Pierced Tongue thing, is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I keep waking up at 6 in the morning, my mouth in an incredible amount of pain. so I go and swish it with listerine, then salt water... then drink.. then try and get back to sleep.
I can't talk right. I'm back in the fifth grade again with a fucking Lisp. and while some people think it's "cute"... It's hell.
It's killing me.
I'm only going to wait this out to see if this lisp goes away, if I can get over..
and if I can't get over it in three weeks tops?... bye bye tongue ring.
I'm serious. that chapter of my life, having the awkward lisp problem defining me, ended years ago. I'm not going back to it, because it hurt me a lot.
and i mean a lot.
I know I should be over these things by now. But I never had Help with any of this. My parents wouldn't help. my friends were the ones pointing and laughing at me for having it. I had NO ONE around to help me out, to help lift the weight a bit. so I took it all on my own. and I can't say S properly today even. and now i'm back in school, listening to the girls immitate me, laugh about it, like it's nothing.
Well it's something to me.
Even when I finally broke down and told my teacher why I was so upset, and she told them to stop, they didn't. They didn't stop, and it just got worse. and then they looked at me, and talked about how I was a tattle-tale (which is even MORE stupid, I know. why dwell?). so I just stopped talking. everytime I opened my mouth, they stuck their chins out and immitated my Poor Excuse of an S sound, and LAUGHED. HYSTERICALLY. in my face. and no one could help me. no one would stand up for me. not a single person.
is it really any wonder why I don't talk to people now? I just stopped talking, to avoid all conflict, because I was clearly the cause.
I stopped talking, just like I did tonight at work.
I hate being in this spot again.
I know I should be over these things, move on, because they are stupid, and just something Kids do...
But I just can't move on from this when I keep landing back in it again
I keep waking up at 6 in the morning, my mouth in an incredible amount of pain. so I go and swish it with listerine, then salt water... then drink.. then try and get back to sleep.
I can't talk right. I'm back in the fifth grade again with a fucking Lisp. and while some people think it's "cute"... It's hell.
It's killing me.
I'm only going to wait this out to see if this lisp goes away, if I can get over..
and if I can't get over it in three weeks tops?... bye bye tongue ring.
I'm serious. that chapter of my life, having the awkward lisp problem defining me, ended years ago. I'm not going back to it, because it hurt me a lot.
and i mean a lot.
I know I should be over these things by now. But I never had Help with any of this. My parents wouldn't help. my friends were the ones pointing and laughing at me for having it. I had NO ONE around to help me out, to help lift the weight a bit. so I took it all on my own. and I can't say S properly today even. and now i'm back in school, listening to the girls immitate me, laugh about it, like it's nothing.
Well it's something to me.
Even when I finally broke down and told my teacher why I was so upset, and she told them to stop, they didn't. They didn't stop, and it just got worse. and then they looked at me, and talked about how I was a tattle-tale (which is even MORE stupid, I know. why dwell?). so I just stopped talking. everytime I opened my mouth, they stuck their chins out and immitated my Poor Excuse of an S sound, and LAUGHED. HYSTERICALLY. in my face. and no one could help me. no one would stand up for me. not a single person.
is it really any wonder why I don't talk to people now? I just stopped talking, to avoid all conflict, because I was clearly the cause.
I stopped talking, just like I did tonight at work.
I hate being in this spot again.
I know I should be over these things, move on, because they are stupid, and just something Kids do...
But I just can't move on from this when I keep landing back in it again
prematurely released by Norah at 11:13 PM
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