She wonders why she gets headaches.
But every day, just as she falls asleep, she remembers how long she's been holding her head up, how many times her jaws have clenched. She remembers how many tears she should have cried, how they were kept for another day, for a better reason. She counts the times she rubbed her neck, a shoulder, and imagined it was someone elses hands, someone else breathing in her ear.
She wonders why she keeps going.
But every day, as she pulls herself from her bed, she feels regret that she's missed the morning. She wonders what's happened, what she's missed. She hopes for the sun, and hopes for the rain.
She wonders whose voice is in her ear:
When she hears "I can't", "When will it end?", "When will I know?"
She wonders if it is her own voice,
why?
She wonders if there is reason to it-
what?
She hopes someone else knows..
and doesn't say anything.