it's friday night, and I am home alone with this horrible amount of weight on my shoulders.
I have projects up the ass due this week (a whole redo of a failing essay due monday, another essay due on my book that I HAVENT read yet due friday, and a culminating activity outline for APS due, as well as the fucking portfolio due, and then Macbeth questions. i have to read, find a typewriter FAST HELP ME) and i'm tired. Why? because West Side is up and running, of course.
wednesday, opening night, was rough. the band was bad, it was our first go, and we had such a hard time. i stood for ten seconds waiting for the band to come in on officer krupke once. god. it was rough. but last night was better, and tonight was awesome. the band is really a lot better, and we are ROCKIN!
wednesday, Mrs.Davis took me to MacDonalds after school. i love her! she rocks.
sigh
i'm tired. so tired. i need to read all night tonight, play guitar to relax, read more, sleep, call stupid stores because moms being stupid and difficult with me (thanks mom) and wont take me to stores to find a typewriter.
god damnit. i hate this whole thing i'm in right now. I'm overloaded with work, and ontop i have one more show where i have to serve dinner, and work sunday night.
god damnit, i can't handle this much longer. i need help, man, big time help.
but other than that..well, nothing i guess. i'm just sitting here at home, tired and put out. audience members are uptight.
this woman was staring blankly at me when chris was talking at the other end of the caf. JESUS, WOMAN, THE ACTION IS OVER THERE, NOT HERE. LOOK!
gark
and no one ever stands up for people, not even BRAM or SARI or SARAH. only last night it happened. the rest of the time, no one. stuck up... mumble mumble
nah.
goiha.
bob dylans hurricane. fun!
anyway, thats all, i think...yesyes
I have projects up the ass due this week (a whole redo of a failing essay due monday, another essay due on my book that I HAVENT read yet due friday, and a culminating activity outline for APS due, as well as the fucking portfolio due, and then Macbeth questions. i have to read, find a typewriter FAST HELP ME) and i'm tired. Why? because West Side is up and running, of course.
wednesday, opening night, was rough. the band was bad, it was our first go, and we had such a hard time. i stood for ten seconds waiting for the band to come in on officer krupke once. god. it was rough. but last night was better, and tonight was awesome. the band is really a lot better, and we are ROCKIN!
wednesday, Mrs.Davis took me to MacDonalds after school. i love her! she rocks.
sigh
i'm tired. so tired. i need to read all night tonight, play guitar to relax, read more, sleep, call stupid stores because moms being stupid and difficult with me (thanks mom) and wont take me to stores to find a typewriter.
god damnit. i hate this whole thing i'm in right now. I'm overloaded with work, and ontop i have one more show where i have to serve dinner, and work sunday night.
god damnit, i can't handle this much longer. i need help, man, big time help.
but other than that..well, nothing i guess. i'm just sitting here at home, tired and put out. audience members are uptight.
this woman was staring blankly at me when chris was talking at the other end of the caf. JESUS, WOMAN, THE ACTION IS OVER THERE, NOT HERE. LOOK!
gark
and no one ever stands up for people, not even BRAM or SARI or SARAH. only last night it happened. the rest of the time, no one. stuck up... mumble mumble
nah.
goiha.
bob dylans hurricane. fun!
anyway, thats all, i think...yesyes
prematurely released by Norah at 9:47 PM
1 Comments:
It's stange. It's strange how things change.. Like how a caterpillar changes into a butterfly.. It just happens, and no one really sits to think how.. why.. Do you ever sit and think about clouds.. how do they come to be? Are they balls of pollution, spit from factory stacks? Can you actually stand on them.. crush their fluff in your hands? No, of course not.. because that's stupid. Things are stupid, if you think about it. Friendship.. well, that's not stupid, it's never stupid.. even with a change..
I have a friend.. the best friend I've ever had.. We're totally different in many ways, but utterly the same in every aspect. In stature, she's like a hobbit.. and I'm like an elf.. but we're both halflings at heart. Guitar is my friend. Guitar is her friend. Drama is life.. Our destiny? To become actresses, of course! We love to roleplay.. write stories.. muse over the hunky hunks of hollywood. Our notes are hysterical and english class in never boring.. Mrs. Moody can't use her little tricks on us, we're to quick.. Our Lady Peace is the music.. but we can't forget that Lord of the Rings soundtrack - That's the stuff! We go on many adventures.. Like our trip to mode-elle.. we walked down a runway.. If we looked like fools, we did it together. Sure, there were rough times.. We could get tired, grumpy and angry.. frustrated, worried and upset.. But we could always count on each other, always chat it up on the phone or type away on MSN.. We could keep a secret, or many secrets.
We could get excited over the smallest things.. Giggling, dancing and acting like nerds, but it wasn't a big deal.. we knew we were cool..
We made up words.. Words that won't ever leave our vocabulary.. Gark! Buh! ARG! Ma-May-Ma-Moo-Ma-Moo-Ma-May.. Poor Sam!
We could laugh at funny sayings, aswell.. Like my brother once said..
'Wow, look at this tomatoe! What a nice tomatoe..'
Or..
'How should I eat this banana?'
Then it stopped. Yes.. it changed. Things changed. We were taken away from each other.. another one gone.. I had no you, and you had no me.. MSN wasn't the same.. Phone calls were to expensive.. Writing e-mails died down.. it was like the universe swallowed every good.. like we fell into two seperate worlds.
So here I am, Emily, alone and depressed. If you can believe it, I've been really depressed since last July.. that's almost a year of constant depression..
What i'm saying is.. I miss you! I miss you like a sister.. like a twin, if you can believe it. You may not feel the same.. or may never have felt the same.. but.. I don't care. I read your blogs, and feel sadness! Pure, unavoidable sadness.. Why is my friend feeling so pressured, so overwhelmed and pained? We hardly talk anymore.. so I just don't know what's going on..
So whether you're happy, upset, angry or frustrated to read this comment.. just know that despite the silence that's settled between us.. you'll ALWAYS be my best friend.. and I'll ALWAYS be here.. or there.. wherever I am.. for you. You're a seriously awesome person, and you should know that.. If it wasn't for you, my first few years of highschool would have been like crossing the river stix, constantly! I just wanted you to know this.. and no matter what you, i'll always luv ya.. ;)
So here's a hug.. -hug- and a couple extra to store for those miserable days.. -hug-hug-hug-hug-
Lets try and keep in touch, ok?
Your friend.. Siniver
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