from shit to shit

I don't have a mother. I have a step father, Gord, and I have another gord. Gord, that prick, that disease, infected my mother and made her think I'm the antagonist, I'm the bad person in the house, I'm the one who needs to learn, I'm not strong enough or mature enough to take care of myself at someone elses house. now neither will listen to me.

If it were Emma having something going on, it would be perfectly fine. perfectly fine. no questions. but I can't even explain or defend myself, and the decision is made without my own input, the person this is ABOUT. I, the defense, can't do anything. how the FUCK is that equality? how the FUCK is that fair? when did my mother get to be like this? when did everyone in my family switch over to this other place with different opinions of me? when did that change?

I have no mother. I don't have a family anymore. I am completely alone tonight, and tomorrow night. I have nothing in my life.