ACID
snow does a lot.
for one...
Last night, I tried to go over Oak Hills with my dad, but at the top we turned around, because the opposite side was deadly. it was, BAD, because of snow, a little rain, mash some ice in there...
it was black, so we couldn't see a thing.
today, driving over the hill with my mother was another story. The world is suddenly twice as brighter as it was before, and now the trees are bending all of their limbs towards the ground from all of the white fluffy stuff that has fallen onto them. everything has a thick layer of snow now, and the only reason you can tell there's a tree there is because of the small spot under the limb, where no snow could reach, thanks to the laws of Physics.
Physics hardly matters in such places as that. everything is either white, or black. no grey. no grey. where would science come in here? there's no science to this. it's called Beauty, damnit, look at it! these trees, HUGE trees, covered from forest floor the to tips with snow. the sides of the trunks, even, are covered with snow.
it's, quite simply, beautiful.
and those are two physical aspects of snow. add in blinding-ness, cold-ness, bad weather, etc etc...
then there are the memories that come back. a year ago, two years ago, more years agos, months ago, days ago, hours ago, flood back when you cross the road and have nothing but snow coming back towards you. no wind, just snow, slightly slanted so that if you try to look up, you get it in your eyes and it stings. but it's nice. and you remember things, some that you don't want to, and others that, no matter how much it could hurt you, you treasure with everything you have inside. for instance, you could remember crossing the road to go to the store, and coming out you suddenly run into a friend of yours, getting gas in a car they're soon to total. and you talk for a few minutes, holding a 2 litre bottle of diet ginger ale whilst talking to this person. it's just a memory, but there are feelings that go to it. for instance, you might remember more the emotions than the actual events. you might think "Hey, I ran into so and so there-" and then remember that painful stab in the heart that you felt just as you turned to cross the road to get back home. you might remember, more than any detail of their clothing, how they looked, how it hurt to see them look that way, how it hurt you to run into them, for them to ask you simple questions, to just talk to you, and think that you walked away from that.
at this point, something might strike you, and then you will remember another point in time when that same thought struck you...
well, in all honesty, snow doesn't do this. it's just the mind. anything does it. but it did it to me tonight. snow opened up the book again, for me to take, yet, another gander through it. another look over things I've written, things i've felt and thought and done. It's nothing something I enjoy doing, not when i'm supposed to be training myself to think about school, to wrap myself up in the world of History, or Projects, Mozart, "What If" questions that have no answer... I don't like reading when i have so much to do. I've got a lot to get done, a lot to do, a lot to sort through, and it doesn't help when I have to have a personal life to go with it. Personal lives get in the way of things. not just at work, between "Co-workers", not just in the social part, but school-wise? I'm fucked this year. fucked royally. I'm going to fail world history, and unless i can find an alternate course for my sixth period spare, or crack a deal, or something, i'm coming back another year to finish the crash course... and i don't want to. simple. done and done.
i have no excuse either. I have... first period... third and fourth... hours after school, on days I DON'T work... whats my reason? I don't have one. just the whole lack of attention part. i can't stay awake and do those things.
this weekend, i had two great sleeps. friday night, best sleep of my life, but I wish It could have lasted longer. last night, twelve hours... it was nice to sleep.
friday night i kept having these dreams where I would trip and fall, and I would wake up just as I hit the ground... i hit the ground and BAM! i'm awake and hitting my bed.
it was my birthday friday. things got messed up a bit from the buses being cancelled, but everything went through eventually. i'm thinking I'll grab angus and gift for x-mas, for, you know.. .using his house... but that's besides the point... there was snow and rain, man...
well...
we had cake. good cake, too.... GOOD cake. and.. oh boy.... it was more than special. holy crap.
one wierd thing happened that has NEVER happened to me before. I was sitting in the kitchen, zoning out... and suddenly i don't hear anything. I mean, i do, but hardly at all. four people in the room, three talking right beside me, and one standing up doing who knows what... and i hear nothing... but the breathing of ONE person.... thats it. everything else was muffled, volume turned down, and all you heard was this one person, breathing, laughing, harshly, loudly...
like in a movie, when all the sounds go out and the main character is going crazy from hearing some person's breathing from their nose, or something, because they're insane...
it happened. and it was wierd. I didn't get sick, though Ness and Age did... i was fine.
well, that's my weekend in a nutshell. i tried to start out serious, to try and get a hold, but.. yeah.... i'm tired still. I hate school, and I don't want to go
for one...
Last night, I tried to go over Oak Hills with my dad, but at the top we turned around, because the opposite side was deadly. it was, BAD, because of snow, a little rain, mash some ice in there...
it was black, so we couldn't see a thing.
today, driving over the hill with my mother was another story. The world is suddenly twice as brighter as it was before, and now the trees are bending all of their limbs towards the ground from all of the white fluffy stuff that has fallen onto them. everything has a thick layer of snow now, and the only reason you can tell there's a tree there is because of the small spot under the limb, where no snow could reach, thanks to the laws of Physics.
Physics hardly matters in such places as that. everything is either white, or black. no grey. no grey. where would science come in here? there's no science to this. it's called Beauty, damnit, look at it! these trees, HUGE trees, covered from forest floor the to tips with snow. the sides of the trunks, even, are covered with snow.
it's, quite simply, beautiful.
and those are two physical aspects of snow. add in blinding-ness, cold-ness, bad weather, etc etc...
then there are the memories that come back. a year ago, two years ago, more years agos, months ago, days ago, hours ago, flood back when you cross the road and have nothing but snow coming back towards you. no wind, just snow, slightly slanted so that if you try to look up, you get it in your eyes and it stings. but it's nice. and you remember things, some that you don't want to, and others that, no matter how much it could hurt you, you treasure with everything you have inside. for instance, you could remember crossing the road to go to the store, and coming out you suddenly run into a friend of yours, getting gas in a car they're soon to total. and you talk for a few minutes, holding a 2 litre bottle of diet ginger ale whilst talking to this person. it's just a memory, but there are feelings that go to it. for instance, you might remember more the emotions than the actual events. you might think "Hey, I ran into so and so there-" and then remember that painful stab in the heart that you felt just as you turned to cross the road to get back home. you might remember, more than any detail of their clothing, how they looked, how it hurt to see them look that way, how it hurt you to run into them, for them to ask you simple questions, to just talk to you, and think that you walked away from that.
at this point, something might strike you, and then you will remember another point in time when that same thought struck you...
well, in all honesty, snow doesn't do this. it's just the mind. anything does it. but it did it to me tonight. snow opened up the book again, for me to take, yet, another gander through it. another look over things I've written, things i've felt and thought and done. It's nothing something I enjoy doing, not when i'm supposed to be training myself to think about school, to wrap myself up in the world of History, or Projects, Mozart, "What If" questions that have no answer... I don't like reading when i have so much to do. I've got a lot to get done, a lot to do, a lot to sort through, and it doesn't help when I have to have a personal life to go with it. Personal lives get in the way of things. not just at work, between "Co-workers", not just in the social part, but school-wise? I'm fucked this year. fucked royally. I'm going to fail world history, and unless i can find an alternate course for my sixth period spare, or crack a deal, or something, i'm coming back another year to finish the crash course... and i don't want to. simple. done and done.
i have no excuse either. I have... first period... third and fourth... hours after school, on days I DON'T work... whats my reason? I don't have one. just the whole lack of attention part. i can't stay awake and do those things.
this weekend, i had two great sleeps. friday night, best sleep of my life, but I wish It could have lasted longer. last night, twelve hours... it was nice to sleep.
friday night i kept having these dreams where I would trip and fall, and I would wake up just as I hit the ground... i hit the ground and BAM! i'm awake and hitting my bed.
it was my birthday friday. things got messed up a bit from the buses being cancelled, but everything went through eventually. i'm thinking I'll grab angus and gift for x-mas, for, you know.. .using his house... but that's besides the point... there was snow and rain, man...
well...
we had cake. good cake, too.... GOOD cake. and.. oh boy.... it was more than special. holy crap.
one wierd thing happened that has NEVER happened to me before. I was sitting in the kitchen, zoning out... and suddenly i don't hear anything. I mean, i do, but hardly at all. four people in the room, three talking right beside me, and one standing up doing who knows what... and i hear nothing... but the breathing of ONE person.... thats it. everything else was muffled, volume turned down, and all you heard was this one person, breathing, laughing, harshly, loudly...
like in a movie, when all the sounds go out and the main character is going crazy from hearing some person's breathing from their nose, or something, because they're insane...
it happened. and it was wierd. I didn't get sick, though Ness and Age did... i was fine.
well, that's my weekend in a nutshell. i tried to start out serious, to try and get a hold, but.. yeah.... i'm tired still. I hate school, and I don't want to go
prematurely released by Norah at 7:43 PM
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