I Like Driving
Two days until Christmas... yay! yayayayayayayayayayaFART
beh
you know me and x-mas. funny, the school want's to be respectful of other religions, so they make the word "Lord" and "God" or anything remotely god-related banned... yet, they keep the christmas holiday. of course. why not? students are happy for two weeks, teachers too, but... isn't that a bit hypocritical? shouldn't they technically get rid of that too?
i would laugh if they did. after all, i won't be in school next year... hopefully...
HA! stupid school. it's so stupid.
FUCK, school, i haven't even started that HUGE essay yet. haven't practiced Oboe at all... haven't painted... all I want to do is watch movies, sleep, hang out with people. honestly, i just need to be with some people... man oh man. if I have a breakdown before exams... i wonder if that could be to my advantage??? not likely.
fucking school, i hate it. i hate the system today. but would that surprise you after you found that Gord was home? yeah, he's home today, not teaching people to drive or anything today, not in this weather. by the way, I shoveled in that weather. everything from the ankle down was soaked, as well as the top of my head. frig. i hate water today. jeans soaked, shoes done for a couple days. er! i hate gord. i blame him for my being soaked. ha!
im in a wierd mood. i only woke up... half an hour ago, i think. im still tired. i didn't sleep well last night. Weird dreams about new years. I dreamt i met up with Aric again there, but he didn't give a shit. not suprising. hmm, i can't remember much else, just that those dreams were weird, for whatever reason, and I couldn't sleep very well. I kept waking up.
im stuck in this sort of No Mans land right now. I kind of know what I want, but at the same time I have no idea, so I want to explore, but i know that i could be hurt if I explore... or something... you know? i know what would make me happy. I've felt it ever so breifly before, but nothing else came from it. just a moment. as life is made of. life is just a series of moments, clashing every so often with other moments, hence creating a "Situation" instead of a moment. other moments just lead to other moments and are forgotten. I wish I could remember those moments. they seem like the sort of things that a great story could be made of...
oh no mans land. no mans land here, hey? no living here, no feeling comfortable here, in no mans land. here, in No mans land, you have to be ready 24/7 for gunfire from either side. one side shooting the other, so your own side could kill you too. one hate could kill you, one love could kill you, boy oh boy, does love ever seem like war? paradox, isn't it? Love shouldn't feel like a war, but i suppose love is defined as the feeling between TWO people. so, what about someone in love with another person who doesn't love them back? what do you call that, just for technicality... infatuation? no, that means something else... a crush is different... love. i guess love is all that's left. or... care? hhmmmm.... you go to war because you care for the people back at home, and you want to protect them... so, I suppose a person who truly loves and cares for someone (whether or not that person loves and cares for them back) would go to any length to protect them, even war... right?
we're not making sense, are we?
me. I'M not making sense. those are my thoughts, the moments that take place in my head, typed out for once instead of being forgotten. I need a stenographer in my head, man. imagine all the amazing shit i could have ON PAPER!...
i dont want to be home today. I would like to go for another drive, but its raining, and mother has the car... and she wont let me...
alas. i need my own car. to be free, i need a car. to have a car to be free, i need money. why does it always come back to the Dollar Value? always with fucking MONEY! what a big fence that is, hm? money money money money makes the world go around. oh boy.
fdlksjakd fdj ife fkdskjf dsaj f84fj f94ifdsla; a;;oe cncgiea f acne8; atu vna;cei...
take that, english!
someday, everyone will be literate. and then they will all be bilingual. and there won't be those cultural fences ever again, save for those few people who dont stay up to the standard and are snuffed out by a Nuclear bomb, or something... until it gets to money all over again, right? the economy is what's making us all unhappy. not differences, though we like to blame those things instead. some people don't have the money they need, SHOOT, BAM BAM. some people have too much, they get to be robbed, if they don't have that state of the art security system... and then there's the national view, countries without enough money to defend themselves against people on the hunt for more Oil... or whatever...
i could think more about that, but I'm going to stop now and find something else to do. pardon the spelling mistakes.
beh
you know me and x-mas. funny, the school want's to be respectful of other religions, so they make the word "Lord" and "God" or anything remotely god-related banned... yet, they keep the christmas holiday. of course. why not? students are happy for two weeks, teachers too, but... isn't that a bit hypocritical? shouldn't they technically get rid of that too?
i would laugh if they did. after all, i won't be in school next year... hopefully...
HA! stupid school. it's so stupid.
FUCK, school, i haven't even started that HUGE essay yet. haven't practiced Oboe at all... haven't painted... all I want to do is watch movies, sleep, hang out with people. honestly, i just need to be with some people... man oh man. if I have a breakdown before exams... i wonder if that could be to my advantage??? not likely.
fucking school, i hate it. i hate the system today. but would that surprise you after you found that Gord was home? yeah, he's home today, not teaching people to drive or anything today, not in this weather. by the way, I shoveled in that weather. everything from the ankle down was soaked, as well as the top of my head. frig. i hate water today. jeans soaked, shoes done for a couple days. er! i hate gord. i blame him for my being soaked. ha!
im in a wierd mood. i only woke up... half an hour ago, i think. im still tired. i didn't sleep well last night. Weird dreams about new years. I dreamt i met up with Aric again there, but he didn't give a shit. not suprising. hmm, i can't remember much else, just that those dreams were weird, for whatever reason, and I couldn't sleep very well. I kept waking up.
im stuck in this sort of No Mans land right now. I kind of know what I want, but at the same time I have no idea, so I want to explore, but i know that i could be hurt if I explore... or something... you know? i know what would make me happy. I've felt it ever so breifly before, but nothing else came from it. just a moment. as life is made of. life is just a series of moments, clashing every so often with other moments, hence creating a "Situation" instead of a moment. other moments just lead to other moments and are forgotten. I wish I could remember those moments. they seem like the sort of things that a great story could be made of...
oh no mans land. no mans land here, hey? no living here, no feeling comfortable here, in no mans land. here, in No mans land, you have to be ready 24/7 for gunfire from either side. one side shooting the other, so your own side could kill you too. one hate could kill you, one love could kill you, boy oh boy, does love ever seem like war? paradox, isn't it? Love shouldn't feel like a war, but i suppose love is defined as the feeling between TWO people. so, what about someone in love with another person who doesn't love them back? what do you call that, just for technicality... infatuation? no, that means something else... a crush is different... love. i guess love is all that's left. or... care? hhmmmm.... you go to war because you care for the people back at home, and you want to protect them... so, I suppose a person who truly loves and cares for someone (whether or not that person loves and cares for them back) would go to any length to protect them, even war... right?
we're not making sense, are we?
me. I'M not making sense. those are my thoughts, the moments that take place in my head, typed out for once instead of being forgotten. I need a stenographer in my head, man. imagine all the amazing shit i could have ON PAPER!...
i dont want to be home today. I would like to go for another drive, but its raining, and mother has the car... and she wont let me...
alas. i need my own car. to be free, i need a car. to have a car to be free, i need money. why does it always come back to the Dollar Value? always with fucking MONEY! what a big fence that is, hm? money money money money makes the world go around. oh boy.
fdlksjakd fdj ife fkdskjf dsaj f84fj f94ifdsla; a;;oe cncgiea f acne8; atu vna;cei...
take that, english!
someday, everyone will be literate. and then they will all be bilingual. and there won't be those cultural fences ever again, save for those few people who dont stay up to the standard and are snuffed out by a Nuclear bomb, or something... until it gets to money all over again, right? the economy is what's making us all unhappy. not differences, though we like to blame those things instead. some people don't have the money they need, SHOOT, BAM BAM. some people have too much, they get to be robbed, if they don't have that state of the art security system... and then there's the national view, countries without enough money to defend themselves against people on the hunt for more Oil... or whatever...
i could think more about that, but I'm going to stop now and find something else to do. pardon the spelling mistakes.
prematurely released by Norah at 11:21 AM
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