night

The bar had made it out
it got me branded,
I ain't got no man
like the lady you've landed...

this woman to love you
when i'm not a tangent
to stare at your dreams
and wonder what it all meant

if you'd had that woman
to love you right back
the way you always sang about
the way you walked around, about

but at the bar last night
I almost called you up
just to play drunk with you
and see if you were up

she ain't gonna know you
like I spied from you
that woman won't love you
the way I lied to you

But the bar tonight
ain't the last stop

black dust canary

black dust canary
rather be a mourning dove
she'd love to be a pheonix
oh just to break the cage
shes just a bird in a coalmine
thats all she is good for.

she got burned too many times
and volunteered
to be a warning bell
a warning bell
but no one listens to the black dust canary song
they call her a black bird
not even a mocking bird

the only song she's good for
is the shortest swan song
and this black dust canary
she will sing no more.
she will fly no more.

the year of james bond

Funny how a year goes by just like that, doesn't feel like anything, and yet you can't remember what you were thinking last year.
Last year, I thought 2006 would be a good year.

well, I wont forget 2006, that's for sure.
first time I moved out.
first time for a lot of things...
but I wouldn't call this a GOOD year.

So now I'm thinking about 2007. but I'm going to stop. I won't bother thinking about what this year will be like. I don't want to.

Angus is gone. not dead, not in another country. just toronto. but he's gone. I haven't spoken to him since before thanksgiving. start of october. three months. I've done that before, but we used to hang out once a week last year. as of last year.

I've lost a lot of people this year, more than I could have imagined last year. I've lost Aric to Alberta, my buddy is too far away, no internet for him either. so he's "gone". Calista is still in oakville, but I talk to her, so I have her.
Angus is gone.
Scott is gone.
everyone related to that is gone or just out of it.

I really have no one here. Tom moves at the end of the month to Alberta.

I've been feeling very lonely lately, moreso than ever I think. just... I wish I could have succeeded at a few things this past year, and I just didn't. I live with a step father who doesn't think I'll get into school, and thinks i'm a fucking joke. My mother picks on me for eating bad things. my father thinks i'm making a huge mistake about school. and my brother just doesn't care about anything. he's out of it.
yeah.. I could have stayed in oakville... but oakville wasn't working. the only reason I wish I didn't move was because i JUST hooked up with a guy the week before i left.
and I wish I could have pursued that a bit more.

other than that, I'm going into 2007 with no attempts to imagine the future, other than school. I've applied to schoo, and now I'm waiting. waiting ot see if I get in or not.

other than that, try to start recordin, writing more..... you know.

it's the year of Bond.