Shrink Wrap

I just finished watching an episode of Dexter called Shrink Wrap. In this one, he goes after a therapist, and after freaking out momentarily, he goes back to his girlfriends house. Now, Dexter has been avoiding sleeping with her, because he doesn't want to get too close to her, should she discover his Murderous side, but tonight, after having some traumatizing flashbacks, he goes back to her house, and spends the night.

aw.

The show is about a serial killer who goes after other serial killers. It's been collecting good reviews for the entirety of it's run, and while my comments on this particular episode are a bit strange (considering it's a show about a murderer), I can see why the show is good.

Aside from it's plot. anyway...

What struck me was how much a person can actually connect with this killer. Sure, we're not all psychopaths, but in this episode, we relate to one thing: Being afraid of someone seeing something in ourselves that they don't like.

Dexter has been avoiding intimacy, afraid of what Rita (the girlfriend) will see, afraid she will see him for who is he: plain old creepy.

well I don't know about anyone else, but I sure feel like a creep. I have intimacy issues most of the time, with people I care about at least, because I'm afraid that when I let them in, they will run away from me. Sometimes I feel like a serial killer at heart, I feel so creepy and wrong.

But there he went, our favourite murderer, letting someone in with no negative consequence... yet.

It's just a T.V show, but this time it got a message across, other than hunting people is wrong and creepy and just a novelty.

Anyone can let go, and be okay.

Here's the Dexter season 3 trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsu2YYUozP4

Passport, please

I don't document my life too much these days. Whatever happens tends to leak into other writings that aren't so distributed (i.e: poems/lyrics that end up in a text file on my desktop).

I haven't much care for it anymore. I'm trying to stick with the "whatever happens, happens. move on" schpeal. Such Is Life.

A lot of these things also used to be found in photos that I would take. I used to take a lot of pictures, and sometimes, if something grabs my attention and I am armed with my camera, it still ends up that way... but lately not so much.

Stopping to take a picture can be bothersome, it can interrupt, much like stopping fooling around to put on a condom: a tiny bit of precious time is lost in the act, no matter how vital the act may be. You lose a bit of the thrill of the moment.

So I stopped taking pictures for a while. Maybe I haven't done much worth photographing. Sure, I still take a lot of pictures, and want to keep doing so, but I suppose I'm trying to refine what I take pictures of, to save space on my computer, and to save time.

And to save effort. I've been worrying about effort more these days, what to put it into, and what to avoid putting it into (at all costs). I've never been very good at that, knowing when to leave something be, when to give up, bugger off, and with Photography, I'm trying to get it into my system in a slightly more natural way.

It's easy to stop taking pictures: Stop doing things that you want to remember... ha! No, not like that. But it does seem that way, looking back..

I like taking pictures of people, or ironic things (see portfolio, 50's tractor battery being charged by solar panel), and lately those two things haven't been available visually.

So documentation of where I've been is rare now. Like I haven't really been anywhere or done anything... Like I don't exist anymore.

Back from way back

So I haven't used this blog in a while.. no wonder. When I started it up, it was a "fad" at the time, and I fell right into it. Reading back through my posts, I... well, let's just remind ourselves that I was a little younger than I am now, and the world has gotten much larger since those days.

So while it's embarrassing to read those posts (I ask that you don't, if you've somehow found yourself here...), it's a bit amusing as well. If you can't laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at?

I went through them all about a month ago, weeding out the occassional "poem" I had actually published on here, expecting myself to delete the actual blog shortly thereafter... obviously my mind has changed.

While blogs can be really annoying and easily taken as self-absorbent, it's a chance to reflect, as well as practice your grammar. Nothing wrong with practice. So here's me, admitting that I too have been self-absorbed... but hey, I'm not knocked up and tied down to the first hick that got a hard on at twenty, am I? In this area, that's something.

Alright, let's be fair, ONE of those people who got married so young may stand a chance... the rest really are morons. Most of them probably aren't even moved out of mom and dads yet. Frankly, it does sicken me how many people my age are getting married. Like the  race against the biological clock actually needed to be sped up. Come on people, we're living longer, why would you marry younger? DO something first, gain knowledge/wisdom/common sense, meet a few more people outside of your own gene pool.

So, since my last post, which I believe was roughly a year ago, I have indeed gone to school, my friendship with the boy has indeed gone into the drain, etc etc...

Really, it's not too interesting, nothing out of the norm... for me anyway. Though I have heard that I am strange, maybe it's true and I'm totally off, or I'm still thinking the world revolves around me.

Going to school, I am living with my grandmother and aunt. It's an interesting experience, to say the least, and one that I am not looking forward to returning to so much. I love them to death, of course, but I was becoming very miserable when I left for the summer. So upon returning to Toronto, a job is to be found, and a bachelor apartment (assuming I find no room mates soon enough).

And really, that is all.

I'm a little more of a punchy bitch, but that happens with age in the Engel family. We get grumpy, the more we realize how futile everything is, in the bigger picture.

yup.

I'm going to sleep