Something from MySpace, from Isaac..

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
Eyes. red? no? awesome

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Now? none, cuz i spent it all. usually about 20-40$.. until the next cheque

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?:
rest

4. Favorite plant?:
Cactus...TREE

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?:
I don't have a cell phone, I don't talk enough on a normal phone to need a cell phone.

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?:
dudududududududududud...........dudududududududududududud........ its a fucking phone, people.

7. What shirt are you wearing?:
black tank top. its sticky out..

8. Do you "label" yourself?
yes

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?:
uhh..... palm tree flip flops that are dirty...?

10. Bright or Dark Room?:
one that can easily be both

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?:
I think he's a cool cat

12. Do you know what an 8-track is?:
.... I thought I did. now I'm not sure. BASTARD. making me second-guess myself

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?:
laying in bed, dozing off, likely... slowly but surely....

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?:
Look: i don't have a cell phone. Stop trying to brain-wash me into thinking that having a cell phone is a normal thing. ITS NOT. CANCER. DANGER. RISKRISKRISK STUPID!

15. Do you ever click on Pop-ups or banners?:
I did once. I even went so far as to try and win one of those I-pods... but when it came to the "try one of these promotions" I stopped.

16.What's a saying that you say a lot?:
whammy!

17. Who told you they loved you last?:
.... my mom????

18. Last furry thing you touched?:
My Head

19. How many hours a week do you work?
24. trying for more.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get devloped?
two?....one....two.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?:
16. 17 sucks

22. Your worst enemy?
GORD.

23. What is your current desktop picture?:
a picture of trees from the cornroast, with the colours changed to only reds and oranges. it rocks.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?:
"I know" - typical

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what would you pick?:
Million bucks. do I really need to explain why?

have a day - spend a day

What am I going to do with myself?

My friends are going back to school soon, so they won't be around. No one will be around throughout the day. I can't even get to belleville to apply for a job at Sams. so I'm stuck in this town, literally Stranded because my mother doesn't want me driving because of the Gas price. good point, but it's not like it's going to get better. What am I going to do with myself? We've covered why I won't paint. I came up with an idea for a story, but to write I need to read, and the one book I want to read (even though I've already read it) Is too much for me, for some reason.
for some reason, I can't handle Stephen King's The Stand. again. I know it, yeah.. but to write, you need to know how, and to know how, you need to be reading. With me, I tend to have a wider variety of words to use when/after I've read a book. another auther fresh in my head, including all those words they used. It's easier. It helps. but I can't handle it.
I don't know. I feel like a mess right now. Everyone knows what they're doing, or is pulling off looking like it VERY well. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm stuck in the mud right now.
I just wish I wasn't alone in this house all day. and when school starts, thats it. No more people around. I'm stuck here, alone. if I wasn't alone, I wouldn't care. but I am. so why can't my mother understand this? Why is she so mad to come home to me watching TV... there's nothing else. if there were people, and I had a car all the time, I would never be here. I would be bugging them. I would just be driving around freely. I don't care about the gas price. there won't be gas in a few years anyway, so I might as well enjoy it, damnit!

friggen....

I hate today. Yesterday I was out for once, and I felt great. but today it really sunk in deep, that pretty soon, no one will be around. and no one will give a shit about poor little Emily. I haven't got a single soul when school starts. highschool. university. college. every kind of school. either way, I'm alone. and I hate being alone. It's driving me insane. If I don't change something soon, I'm going to die in this fucking house. alone.

lucky people. they get to know what they Want to do with their lives. they get to know where they're going to spend their time. thanks school. I don't like school. I never liked school. why would someone, after spending most of their school life being picked on? that turns you off to a lot of things... I just wish I had a plan. I wish I had something to look forward to, something solid, that wouldn't fall apart if I tried fiddling with other plans. I wish I couldn't fuck everything up! All of my plans this summer have failed. all that's left is the Concert. if that doesn't happen... what then. what then?
I keep losing hope that something will come along, too. I know thats not a good way to live, Waiting for things to happen... but I don't have much power to Make things happen. I'm one person, looked down on by almost everyone around me.

what a shitty day. I hate feeling like this. I wish I had someone right now.

Boredom. that was yesterday. Yesterday, I wanted to drive. so, I took the car, and I drove to the mall, thinking that I would either buy clothes, or that CSI box set I spotted a while ago at SAMs. I baught the Box Set, and hung out with tom. I'm hanging out with him today too, and Mike for the movies. so there! things to do. and, in the meantime, I have also baught a Tamagochi to entertain me. yeah. pathetic. something a twelve year old would buy. well, I needed something, man. I needed something to be my friend.

I've been listening to a lot of Joni Mitchell, Aimee Mann, and Mamas and the Papas lately. bit of a change from Sigur Ros, Radiohead, etc etc... 24 sleeps till Sigur Ros! I need to start planning this soon. Whos getting there how, Who's picking up tickets, who's sleeping where with who (heh). Need to plan this thing! It's a bit sad though. This show is all I have to look forward to. that, and the next time I get out to missisauga, but dad isn't planning anything yet. so It'll be a while, I guess. alas. oh time. how you hate me.

I was considering going back to school for Musical Theatre alone... but... uhh.... no. My Time at that school is OVER. I would like to be in a musical again, but getting up that early is just too stupid. And... no offense... but there isn't much left of that school now, besides a few people. I'm not going back for a musical if I have to sit through all that bullshit with MSIPs and Assemblies and what not. I'm not going through that again. too stressful, too much retardation. Then again, I'm not exactly getting any smarted doing what i'm doing. I'm turning into Jeff... not a good thing at all.

I should be looking for a place to move out to. but it's so much effort, for nothing. I want something semi-permanent, but everything nowadays is based on a month to month deal, at least in this area. and I would rather have a longer commitment to something. assuming i like it.
I'm not making sense. beh. why should I. I understand what I mean, thats all that matters until it comes to arguments sake.



SO, Emily, any words of Wisdom today?
-no.
Shitey. well... lets see.......................................................
yeah no

I'll listen to music until I go out, somewhere. then I'll get my check.
I need a studio.
I NEED s studio, to paint in. otherwise, It will never happen. I need space, with good lighting. I'mnot being picky, either! There's no room in this pin hole house for a big painting like the Sao Paulo, or anything. and where there is room, theres no light whatsoever.

listen to me complain, again, about the shit I've complained about before. BAH!
I'm done now. more music. more fantasizing. it's all I have left to do afterall, isn't it?
O! I should buy a book

I find conclusion in all this confusion

NOT

I never thought, when graduating, that I would actually consider going back to school, just to occupy my time.
but I won't.
I'm too lazy for that.
But I'll miss it, now. I think. I'll miss being forced to play saxophone, to paint. I'll miss the encouragment, now that I have none.

What a shithole my life is right now.

Why you cry

Because you're alone in a world too big for you.
Because no one understands you.
Because all you want is to be taken care of, and everyone is too busy.
Because you can't defend yourself.
Because you're delicate.
Because you're tired.
Because you're hot.
Because you're cold.
Because you're dependant.
Because you don't know whats happening.
Because you're hungry, and there's no food.
Because a bee stung you, and you couldn't stop it.
Because no one can soothe you.
Because the world just isn't fair, and doesn't care.
Because you're four months old,
and this horrid trip is all you know.


There is nothing more heart-breaking than seeing a baby get stung by a bee. A baby that can't do anything about it, that didn't provoke it, was stung by a fucking wasp. and there is nothing more heart-breaking than that baby sobbing, because this is a pain shes never felt before, and shes scared and doesn't know whats happening. And on top of that, you can't do anything to get revenge. It's not like a person hit the baby. you can't just hit a bee back for stinging an infant and putting her in a world of pain and terror. you can't do anything. and It's so painful to watch. especially at a corn roast where everyone is stuffing their face, and probably doesn't have enough empathy to understand the poor thing sobbing in her mother's arms, sobbing for someone to turn off the stinging pain on her head.
It hurt. it was so sad. maybe I'm a sap, now that there's a baby in my life, even if it isn't mine.
Oh, ava. its just not a fair world. I'm sorry you learned that at such an early age, before you can even grow a memory or conscience. I'm so sorry about this place.

I'm tired. oh so tired. I don't want to sleep though... that means I have to wake up. yet again. to another week, just like the last one....

ugh. I need to think of something to do with myself.

Hearts don't grow calluses

I would live a life of loneliness and disease
so long as you were in the backdrop.
I would trade in a long life without you
for a short one with no one else but you.
I would work every day of the work,
every day of the year,
if it meant I could spend one entire day with you
next year.
I would sell my soul tonight,
to have you to myself for the morning.
I would die tomorrow
to be with you tonight.


Certain things get to you, in relation with the day and the life. Certain things open your eyes, tease you. but you still see them., even if it hurts.
I'm playing guitar.
How painful do you think it is, to go months without touching the strings, to lose your calluses... and then to re-string the instrument, give it new life, prepare it for its new life, and cut your hands and fingers to do it? all for an instrument? all for music? all for art? expresion? imagine the pain for it. any musician would know. any musician could understand the relation to the heart. Imagine the pain a heart goes through, when you go for so long without inspiration, and to suddenly have it... when you can't use it?
I played guitar, because I was inspired by something. I can't even trace it, maybe tomorrow. But I've been inspired. and I'm trying to play. but it hurts. a lot. physical pain!

and for some reason, I feel my heart aching. I still can't get over that, how it still aches, after four years to adjust, it still aches. Hearts don't grow calluses, I guess. Only the mind.

I'm so old!

I guess I'm turning into a softie. Me, the girl who sits through CSI without flinching.... today, she flinched. ope.
It was an older episode, where the baby is left in the car in 109 farhenheit (sp?) and dies from it. I guess it doesn't help that I'm actually attatched to a baby now. not mine, but I love her all the same. We got photos of her today. Aww, baby Ava. I love her to death. it would kill me if anything happened to her. and I guess I had a moment of weakness when I watched the episode and imagined that happening...
ugh.

I'm looking at india. and going there. alone. for maybe a month, little less. I'm looking at buddhist pilgrimages.
http://www.buddhist-pilgrimage.com/
http://www.incredibleindiatour.com/pilgrimage-travel-in-india/buddhist-pilgrimages-in-india.html

eventually, maybe tomorrow, i'll start looking into this a lot more seriously. I guess it would require my passport being done and what not... alas... such a pain in the ass.
but anyway...

thats me for today

Woke up, died again,
dragged my corpse outa bed,
drank my cold coffee-
forgot the sugar and cream.
Crowded bus, both ways,
Old man and woman
staring right through me
with blind eyes.

So I look
at the setting sun
and It reminds me
that tomorrow
it'll shine
New light,
New shadows,
and I'll think,
It'll reach you.

Then I dream
about a dream
where I'm standing
on the beach.
and I turn around
and I see you
smiling at me
smiling at you
and waving goodbye...

Sat down on the sidewalk
Not a soul around
but the falling rain
in the gutter surrounding my heels
it's the greatest shower I've ever had
the warmest night of all these cold mornings...

I think
That I see you
across the road
waving at me
smiling at
you,
making a face
over a thing
on the radio
in my car...


Yeah, its another day, isn't it?

Last time I saw you,
It was cold,
and I wasn't.
All we ever knew was snow and ice,
and now that it's gone,
so are we.
everything just melted away,
into ditches and streams,
and It's like it was never there.
But it will snow again, someday,
And I won't have cold fingers.
but for now,
I'll keep my hands in my pockets,
and try to keep them warm
from the blistering sun.
I'll wear my boots
on the burning pavement.
I'll war out the summer
and wait for the next winter,
should I live to see it.

and somehow that doesn't fit.
none of it is true, really.
It's all lies
just something I think I feel-
but I don't.
something I planted in myself.
Maybe I thought it would take seed,
maybe I thought it would grow in me,
or on me, I suppose.
but nothing did.
Afterall,
how many plants survive without light?
Only bats live in this heart,
and I'm sorry you can't see it.
But, unfortunately,
theres no light to turn on to help you.
you'll just have to feel your way out






watched Sin City.. it rocked. I'm jealous of the digital artists who got to do that film. I wish I could get something like that under my belt. fuckin' eh is all I can say.
and... BAM

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty,
Sound of their breath fades with the light.
I think about the loveless fascination,
Under the milky way tonight.

Lower the curtain down in memphis,
Lower the curtain down all right.
I got no time for private consultation,
Under the milky way tonight.

Wish I knew what you were looking for.
Might have known what you would find.
Wish I knew what you were looking for.
Might have known what you would find.

And it’s something quite peculiar,
Something that’s shimmering and white.
Leads you here despite your destination,
Under the milky way tonight
Under the milky way tonight.

-the church

Propane

How weird...

One moment, I'm getting sex advice from my boss, just having fun with it. the next, I'm being asked out by a fucking Carnie. GROSS. and kind of odd, how it all happened within a day.

then I go a buy a ring to wear on my left ring finger, to scare that sort of thing off. then-

One moment, I'm looking at Bachelor apartments in Ottawa, the next I'm being offered a space with Joel (first time talking to him in a month).

For some reason, I'm getting the feeling that this is a very purposeful week. shit happens this week. or so it feels, at least. It's strange. I haven't had this sort of week in a long time, where things just happen! Like last night. I went to the mall to get a case for my camera and some music, and BAM! first I see Veronika, then Mike. and suddenly I'm at the mall all night, buying a ring and music and food and shit. it's like, these random turns I'm taking are having results. small results, but... it's just nice to have that, I guess. to do something that you think will only last an hour, that will be boring and lonely, and suddenly have a couple friends around, having laughs, lasting until 9 at night. I love that feeling. I guess it may very well end today, but you never know.

maybe it's a sign for me to start PAINTING.

I'm trying to get the urge. I'm trying to get in the mood for it. but it's so hard. i'd rather sit in my hole and watch TV, because i'm addicted now. what a shame.

so, this week has been odd. I'm wondering if it will change, now that I'm thinking about it, or if it will just keep getting better. The whole purpose of this week, I guess, is people. relationships. something I've neglected a lot int he recent past, I know. Well, maybe this is my wake-up week, the week that says "start paying attention to people around you". maybe. thats how I'm interpretting it right now, at least. or maybe thats whats on my conscience.

well, either way...

today is my last day off. it's the first day of the fair. what can I do? so many possibilities. and yet, no drive.

yeah

I must be cursed or something.

Everyday feels like a Hangover day. and if it doesn't for at least a few hours at SOME point, then it's not a normal day. It's a special day, and I'm supposed to do something.
I must be cursed. My brother was. he had those horrid Migraines and shit when he was younger, things that would split his head open and let out all the screams of pain and fists of rage and pain combined. oh, and vomit. he got that curse. but it went away... mind you, it was replaced by wrist problems and shoulder problems from work.

Me? I've got this eternal headache. I always have one. small, then worse at various points of the day. the right solution: eat better and get the fuck out and do something. oh, if only I had a bike... wait, I do. at Emma's still. man, i should get that, assuming they haven't thrown it out. I can't remember...

but, it's me. I have a social problem, or "disorder". and theres my excuse for sitting here, in front of the computer all the time. I have it set in my head that I shouldn't go out into hot hot weather unless I have to. Most people do, I would think. same with cold cold weather. well, it's hot... i'm not going out. simple as that. so give me ten advil for the day, and I'll be better.
but in the meantime...

if only rain couldn't soak me. friggen...

and I've forgotten the real reason to this post, besides complaining about my headaches... what else would I do?

my mother still thinks I'm going to get a career in something. she suggested being a mortician... uh, yeah... no.
weird. It still bugs me when she's like that. "Then get a job in a factory, that's all you'll get"
why is it like that? why is it that people only respect jobs like doctors and shit, things you need to go to school for ten years after graduation for in order to even get started?
I can't help it. I don't have faith in this fucking system. I don't believe in it, not when it comes to art, the only thing I would ever follow. I want to paint, sing, write. But I can't make money off of it unless I give in and waste all my money on schooling... which will teach me, what? what? nothing. NOTHING. so why bother wasting the money, mother?
Why doesn't she get it? I've explained it. I've told her. I'm not following a career in anything that I don't love. I love art. I don't believe in teaching that, either. creativity is something to be found, not injected, or read about. It's all a load of bullshit to me, and thats why I have a headache.
because of Bullshit. this bullshit. fuckin...

I wish I could paint right now. I wish I could stand in front of my easle, with Sao Paulo in front of me, with my music all around me, deafening me, absorbing me and carrying my brain off while I paint. I wish I could use my time better. I wish I could be creative without having to fight over where to do it, and the time, and the petty details that never have any form of Sense. I wish this wind outside, blowing through the window, whipping my old curtain around in twists would carry me off and somewhere else, through the air, into the car. I wish I could have some freedom here, in whats suppose to be my Home. But I'm nothing more than a resident, a child trapped in a playpen, unable to climb out. and even when I bounce off the walls, it doesn't seem to do anything. barely a shake, barely a notice. No one sees it.
All I want is to paint, is to be allowed to paint, to run around where I please, to be inspired when I need to be. all I have ever asked is to be let go, to be allowed to drive myself. But I can't. I'm being held back in so many ways, I've lost count, and tonight, I can't find myself anymore. Today, I made my last realization:
I have completely lost all sight of everything. I can't see where I'll be in a month, or even a week. I can't find myself in this future, even the present. I can't grab a hold of my thoughts. even if I had the right room with the right lighting and all the supplies I could ever ask for, I wouldn't be able to paint. Because I can't control my eyes. I can't control my hands. I feel like some other force is making me go forward now, like someone has drilled their way into my brain and taken the ropes from me. I've lost myself. I don't know where I am anymore.
and I'm not even allowed to comfort myself by getting away from my cages.

Around the world in fifteen minutes

My funny valentine,
sweet comic valentine,
you make me smile with my heart.
you're looks are laughable,
un-photographable,
yet you're my favourite work of art.

Another night goes,
and I'm forgetting the smells
the temperature.
This girl's afraid to sleep,
to lose the day,
lose the night.
It's like any other ceiling,
wobbly floors without the booze,
ashtrays overflowing
always two sources.
its like any other place,
but its still better.

I get home at 2 something,
and all I can do is sleep
but like the writer I am,
I wanted to write it down.
I wanted to write down the night
and the people,
and the things we can't see
or smell
or hear.
I wanted to write in a forbidden language,
a wordless one
brought back to page.
but I couldn't.
All I could do was take a walk backwards
to now foriegn places
and enjoy the company,
and lack thereof.

Is your figure less than greek?
is your mouth a little weak?
when you open it to speak,
are you smart?

But don't change your hair for me,
not if you care for me.
stay, little valentine, stay!

each day is valentines day.

stolen, again, from tom

1. Where did we meet:
2. Take a stab at my middle name:
3. How long have you known me:
4. When is the last time we saw each other:
5. Do I smoke:
6. Do I believe in God:
7. When you first saw me what was your impression:
8. My age:
9. Birthday:
10. Color hair:
11. Color eyes:
12. Do I have any siblings:
13. Have you ever been jealous of me:
14. What's one of my favorite things to do outdoors:
15. What's one of my fav. things to do indoor:
16. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
17. What's my favorite type of music:
18. What is the best feature about me:
19. Am I shy or outgoing:
20. Would you say I am funny ha ha or funny sarcastic:
21. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules:
22. Would you consider me a friend, an acquaintance, or a good friend:
23. Would you call me preppy, slutty, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else:
24. Have you ever seen me cry:
25. If there were one good nickname for me what would it be:
26. Are my parents still together:
27. If I had broccoli stuck in my teeth would you tell me:
28. Do I drink and/or do drugs:
29. What is my worst fear:
30. Are you going to post this and see what I say about you:
31. Do you think I'm good looking:

It would be kind of cool if someone copy/pasted this into the comments place and actually filled it IN... I guess. I am curious about responses... yes yes....

I don't love you, and the grass is blue...

I hate it when you copy and paste stuff from other sites into here, and it all turns into one giant block of one sentence. its annoying. then you have to go around and put spaces in. maybe there's a trick to it. or not.

either way, its another night at home. the parents came back. I guess they wanted to watch the mileage on gords car, since it's on lease. still not happy about it.

work today wasn't that bad. I'll survive till tomorrow night at 11. it's all good until then.

in the meantime, moving is starting to loom over me, but.. I'm not going anywhere yet. everything is up in the air. and the fact is: It can't be anymore. I wanted to be gone by now. but things changed. but I made an oath to myself a LONG time ago, that I wouldn't spend any longer than the summer living here. meaning: I want to be gone by the end of the summer, before school starts up again.. not that it really matters when I move. it does to me though. I don't want to live in this house beyond the first week of september.

and it doesn't matter where I live anymore. I just need to get out and away from here. I've already been through a bit with this. I mean, my living arrangements have changed a few times now... they might change again. As horrible as I may be with this, I need to get out. so things may change again. I might go to Ottawa, I might not... which I hate. I want to go to Ottawa. I love that city. It's the one city I feel good in. the one city I feel at home in. Someday I'll get there. but it may not be this year afterall...


so things are up in the air.
I actually hate it.


I've been wondering about whats going on with Joel. A lot of people, as soon as I tell them that we broke up, get all sentimental and try to "help" me through this... well, I don't need the help. I was over him before it ended. before it started, as I'm sure I've said before, but right now I can't help but wonder what he's up to. If he's found a place, a roomie maybe, a girl, a decent job, if his music has changed... what music? heh. but yeah, I wonder about him once in a while. I still have his old license in my wallet. I keep forgetting to move it somewhere else, or just chuck it. As much as I say it, I'm really not that bitter about ex's... except that one... so it's not like I want to erase them from my past. I don't want to erase Joel. I learned from him and the whole experience, or Novelty, as some would call it. I've learned a bit. so naturally, I wonder if He's learned anything from me. I would hope so. otherwise, whats the point?
well, I guess the point to HIM would be to find a family. it is to a lot of people. not me, at this point. I have to find me first. thats why it failed.


this weekend has been a bit rough on me. I've found myself getting home from work and finding something to eat and just sitting by the tv or here. thats normal. but I actually feel tired now. sadly, I can't sit in front of the TV anymore, since Gord is home and has taken it over. and i'm just not comfortable sitting with them anymore. another reason to get out soon. It's making me sick.

well, thats all for tonight. monday night. civic holiday. hardly.

Tests...? from tom

1. The age you will be on your next birthday - 18
2. The place you live - Stirling
3. Your favorite color - Green/black
4. The place you want to get married - Autumn woods
5. Your first love - someone
6. Your favorite fruit or vegetable - Peach
7. Your favorite animal - Cat
8. The last name of your favorite actor or actress - Depp (heh)
9. The name of a pet - Patches
10. Your favorite song - (too many)
11. A bad habit of yours - Smoking
12. Your middle name - Norah



1. I miss someone right now.
2. I watch more TV this year than last year.
3. I love olives.
4. I love sleeping.
5. I own a home.
6. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
7. I love to play video games.
8. I have done something illegal.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the "psycho ex" in a past relationship.
12. I like my handwriting.
13. I have acne-free skin.
14. I curse frequently.
15. I have changed a lot over the past year.
16. I have a hobby.
17. I have been to another country.
18. I carry a weapon with me everywhere I go.
19. I have been told that I am very smart.
20. I have had a broken a bone.
21. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
22. I love rain.
23. I can be paranoid at times.
24. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
25. I need money right now.
26. I have tried sushi.
27. I have been to Las Vegas.
28. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
29. I was born in a country other than the USA.
30. I shave my legs.
31. I have a twin.
32. I have Caller I.D. on my phone.
33. I am good at styling other people's hair.
34. I am usually pessimistic.
35. I have mood swings.
36. I think prostitution should be legalized.
37. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
38. I have cheated on a significant other.
39. I have a hidden talent.
40. I have been sexually intimate with more than ten people.
41. I am currently single.
42. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
43. I enjoy talking on the phone.
44. I love to shop.
45. I would classify myself as "ghetto".
46. I am obsessed with my LJ. - LJ????
47. I don't hate anyone.
48. I am a good dancer.
49. I am embarrassed to be seen with my mother or father.
50. I have a cell phone.
51. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
52. I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
53. I have been in a real relationship.
54. I have rejected someone before.
55. I currently have a crush on someone.
56. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
57. I want to have children in the future.
58. I have changed a diaper.
59. I have had the cops called on me.
60. I bite my nails.
61. I am fatally allergic to something.
62. I have a lot to learn. - everyone does
63. I have dated someone 10 years (or more) older or younger than me.
64. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
65. I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
66. I have been rejected by someone.
67. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
68. I have avoided work to play with my blog.
69. I, as a child, learned "the difference between boys and girls" with a neighbor or friend.
70. I enjoy country music.
71. I love my friends.
72. I think that Pizza Hut makes the best pizza.
73. I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
74. I am a perfectionist. - to myself
75. I love Michael Jackson - scandals and all.
76. I have watched the television show "Spongebob Squarepants".
77. I have dated a close friend's ex.
78. I am content as of this moment.
79. I have gone scuba diving.
80. I have had a crush on somebody I have never met.
81. I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
82. I play a musical instrument.
83. I strongly dislike math.
84. I am procrastinating by filling out this list.
85. I own and use a library card.
86. I have been to Europe.
87. I have seen "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
88. I have seen the television show "The O.C".
89. I am resentful that I have to grow up. - sort of
90. I like eating Ramen noodles.
91. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
92. I am currently suffering of a broken heart.
93. I consider myself to be a "nerd". - ish
94. I am left handed.
95. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
96. I enjoy smoothies.
97. I have had major surgery.
98. I have a pet.
99. I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
100. I own 100 CDs or more.
101. I am currently in my pajamas.
102. I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy.
103. I will try anything once. Within reason
104. I have tried a drug that is illegal.
105. I am a cuddler. - see mood swings
106. I have one or more body parts that are asymmetrical.
107. I am a Republican.
108. I am Catholic.
109. I am a college student.
110. I like to cook.
111. I like to vacuum.
112. I collect picture frames.
113. I get along with my parents.
114. I like Shakespeare.
115. I like to sing.
116. I practice a religion that is not considered "mainstream".
117. I have counted down the days until the summer.
118. I have fulfilled someone's dare at a party or gathering.
119. I am, or was, pigeon-toed.
120. I have been to an anime convention.
121. I had a hard time paying attention at school.
122. I have a car.
123. I am an only child.
124. I work at a job that I enjoy.
125. I sleep a lot during the day.
126. I like the taste of blood.
127. I have swam in the ocean.
128. I know how to shoot a gun.
129. I like being the center of attention. - Every now and then
130. I am currently pregnant.
131. I have watched "Sex and the City".
132. I am married.
133. I want to get married.
134. I have all my grandparents.
135. I am a huge fan of lists.
136. I have had my hair cut within the last week.
137. I enjoy jazz music.
138. I am a "morning person".
139. I currently regret something that I have done.
140. I have written a story outside of school.
141. I love Rammstein.
142. cKy is the best band ever.
143. I admire Marilyn Manson as a photographic/cinematographic artist.
144. I love classical music.
145. I think pot should be legalized.
146. I must have ice in my water in order to drink it.
147. I have boxers with sunglasses-wearing ducks.
148. I can pick things up with my toes.
149. I think Frank Sinatra is fantastic.
150. It is a triumph in my life to be healthy for a month.
151. I am currently not wearing shoes.
152. I am an uncle/aunt to more than one person.
153. I have unusually large/small feet.
154. Have read one or more Star Wars books.
155. I've gone skinny dipping by myself/with other people around at least once.
156. I have gotten in trouble for doing things with neo glow worm candies during truth or dare.
157. At this moment in time, I need to pee.
158. I don't get hangovers.
159. I'm listening to music.
160. I have 1 or more tattoos.
161. I like baseball.
162. I've played poker in Las Vegas and won.
163. I am a member of a band or other musical performing group.
164. I have been in an accident in which the vehicle I was in was totalled.
165. I have gone camping overnight in a VW Bus.
166. I have seen 'Buckaroo Banzai' more than 100 times.
167. I have been to more than five heavy metal concerts.
168. I have been embarassed in public.
169. I have slept in a bed with someone not of my imediate family. And even refrained from having sex with them.
170. I have recently gone out with the explicit intention of having sex.
171. I believe the act of sex is a spiritual bond, between said individuals.
172. I voted for George W. Bush at least once, and regret it.
173. I voted for George W. Bush at least once, and don't regret it.
174. I regularly intake some form of caffeine, be it tea, coffee, chocolate, softdrink. - i love my job