it's simple.
I never tell.
I don't tell because i don't believe. in what I'm saying, yes. in any response you would follow it with, no.
other than the obvious.
we had a forgettable friendship. forgettable, because it's been six months since we've spoken, any kind of communication. email. phone. nothing. you've forgotten me.
But I read over something from last year, about a night we spent drinking wine in the basement, talking existential bullshit, and I remembered some signs. signs that you won't remember, with many delusional thoughts that I put behind them, but I remember them. and some of them were from your personality.
You knew a part of me then. you knew that I would always come back to you, but only when I felt a had something to show for it.
You're expecting me again. at least, someday you might wonder where I am, and know that I'm building up to the big reunion, and that it COULD be a great thing to see. could be.
and I know you're doing the same.
in the meantime, it doesn't matter what I feel. you're feeling something else, in a world I only imagine at night. you're living a new life that I can't get into. it's a secret club now.
so don't worry about it. just enjoy it. someday i'll run into you on the street in the city, and I can tell you what I'm doing, how I'm feeling.
I'm better now. and I will be then too. I have only myself, and I will make the most of it, for that is all there is of me.
